Love Her
by Insane Vampiress
Summary: Faith's death. Buffy's POV. Songific-ish for Seether's "Love Her." Fuffy.


Title: Love Her  
  
Author: Insane Vampiress  
  
Spoilers: I have no damn idea.  
  
Pairing: Faith/Buffy  
  
Rating: PG-13 (for character death, sort of)  
  
Summary: Faith's death. Buffy's POV. Seether's "Love Her" songfic-ish.  
  
Disclaimer: The song is Seether's and the show belongs to Joss Whedon and his affiliates.  
  
Author's Notes: Faith is awesome, but we can all bet that she didn't have a good life. I know everyone writes this kind of thing about the character, but when I was listening to "Love Her" it screamed 'FAITHFIC.'  
  
- --- -  
  
I look at Faith's picture and I know that she fought through so much to become a better person, to become a good person.   
  
I knew a girl who hated the world - she used her body to sell her soul  
  
Everytime they'd break her and pay - tear out her heart and leave her in pain  
  
I never found out how she survived all of the sadness she kept inside  
  
I never found out how she could lie with a smile on her face and the scratches she'd hide   
  
--  
  
She was so tough, she acted like she didn't care about the things that she did and I believe that she wished that she could rid herself of her oh-so-human soul. It was what held her back, though most people don't think she held anything back, and they didn't see her soul as the dark restraint it was. If you looked into her eyes, like I did so many times, you would see a broken heart that would never heal and the pain she hid so well from the world when she would say nothing bothered her. I wish she would've admitted -- at least to me -- that she was hurt, but she just smiled and acted like she was fine. And that made me realize more fully the weight of her pain.   
  
--  
  
You could love her if you paid, you could have her everyday  
  
You could love her if you prayed, you could have her every way   
  
--  
  
I'll admit that I loved her, but she would've never allowed me to say it. I know that when I first met her, I could never even think that she might be someone I could love. Faith pushed everything away...and now I realize that was how I acted with Spike. I guess Faith and I were actually similar in that way. Something was odd about the name she was given, I can't help but think: Faith...the name of a girl who had none.   
  
--  
  
Down on her knees she wept on the floor - this hopeless life she wanted no more  
  
Dead in her mind and cold to the bone - she opened her eyes and saw she was alone  
  
She never found out how much I tried - all of the sadness she kept made me blind  
  
She never found out how much I cried - the rope so tight on the night that she died...   
  
--  
  
Why did she try so hard to be alone? I can barely say the words in my mind, no matter how much strength I seem to have...Faith is - Faith, she - Faith...died. She was killed four nights ago by a vampire. We're having her funeral next weekend, but it's weird to think about. And it hurts. When they asked us what the name to engrave on the tombstone was, we realized that none of us knew anything to call her except "Faith." We tried to find out anything we could about her, but no luck there. No more watchers' files now either. It's also weird because we don't have her body, just some of the few things that belonged to her.   
  
Clearly in my mind, I can still see the night that she died. Every detail magnified and playing as if in slow motion. I remember the way she fought two off and then turned to see another as it grabbed my sister slayer from the back. It looked like a young woman, early twenties with deep blue eyes and straight chocolate-colored hair, whose arms coiled around my friend's stomach and wrapped one leg around Faith's. The vampiress's face turned to its demonic visage and I looked into "my" Slayer's eyes for the last time during her life...and saw no fear, she wanted this. I guess her life's been painful, like mine, only hers has more to do with the evil of humanity.   
  
--  
  
You could love her if you paid, you could have her everyday  
  
You could love her if you prayed, you could have her every way   
  
--  
  
Why is yet another person I love torn away? Why do the Powers That Be want their heroes to fight alone? To fight without emotion? Now I remember, it makes us "weak." But she kept me strong.  
  
--  
  
I never found out how she survived - a life lived in lies is a life of denial  
  
I never found out how she could lie - with a smile on her face and the darkness inside   
  
--  
  
She never told anyone why she lied about everything. Faith lived in denial of her past and if you asked, she would give you a pseudosmile and tell you that she had lived a pretty good life. No one got the true extent of the reality though, a veil of shadow hanging over heart and soul.   
  
--  
  
You could love her if you paid, you could have her everyday  
  
You could love her if you prayed, you could have her every way   
  
You could love her if you paid, you could have her everyday  
  
You could love her if you prayed, you could have her every way   
  
--  
  
No one will know now what went on in that pretty little head of hers. I think I should stop thinking, I'm going to sleep where I can dream that she's still here. You know, I can almost feel her wrapping her arms around me.   
  
"Get ready for a bloody ride, B."   
  
I feel fangs sink into my neck and I try to struggle, but I'm being held down, and yet I feel safe. I hear a faint whisper under the loud sound of my pulse slowing, "You know what to do." I can't stop myself, I drink from the cut wrist put over my mouth. I love her, but....   
  
Where she wouldn't share her darkness in life, she did in death.  
  
I'm going into the blackness, the nothingness. I'm going with her.   
  
-End-  
  
- --- -  
  
Author's Note 2: I know I got far from the point of the song and tried too much to turn it into a story, but should I make a Vamp!Fuffy sequel? Please review so I won't lose my mind further. Also, thank you to my lovely beta, Julia (Elven-Star-of-Gold), who added some poetic flow into this. 


End file.
